So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
