break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize