He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
