every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
