Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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