so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is Oprah even human
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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