okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
