I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize