Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
