Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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