Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
