Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
