i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
