Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
