Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
