There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize