Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
