i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
