She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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