Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
