If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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