wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
