Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
