I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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