Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
