There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
