i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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