I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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