This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
