I bet he comes in French.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
