He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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