chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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