Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
