Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
