too bad you live with your parents still
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
