he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
