we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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