five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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