hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
