He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
