You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
now i know why i became what i already was.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
