it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
4 words: hood of his car
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
