My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
only you would photoshop your dick
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
