I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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