I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I intend to get homeless drunk
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize