Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
