So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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