...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
