whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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