Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
