Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am one with the molecules
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
