look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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