We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
