my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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