Someone shit on the floor
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
