I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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