how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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