there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
