she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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