you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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