your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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