We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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